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This is another one of those movies that played a limited one week theatrical/VOD before being quickly dumped on disc and cable TV; HEATSTROKE (2013) is a totally predictable thriller whose only saving graces are the South African scenery, animals and Peter Stormare’s performance. It’s a confusing tale about a new pastor , James Tupper, and his family arriving in a small Louisiana farm town and it’s apparent from the start that they have a target painted on their backs. When Fessenden does films independently his own way , WENDIGO ; THE LAST WINTER ,, they can be sublime slices of psychological horror, but within the TV confines, he is required to have something shocking happen every 15 minutes.

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I also have never seen Jeffrey Dean Morgan more evil than he is here (pay particular attention when the preacher/sheriff Douglas Henshall must pick two people to be killed and what Dean does when the choices aren’t up to his standards). Director/screenwriter Gavin Michael Booth — who like most modern directors, made their bones by directing short films, but he did write the screenplay for DEAD RUSH ), does a great job of holding your interest and I hope he gets the money again to make another full-length horror feature. This leads to a lot of fights and chases (all done particularly well (without resorting to use that quick editing that is so popular today)), as Uncle John, Cayden and Angeline must find a way to stop Connor from killing more innocent people. Derek sleeps for a couple of days as soon as they enter their hotel room and when he awakens (he is starving), so they go to an Italian restaurant, where Derek takes one bite of his food and then proceeds to puke more than you would see in a Monty Python film.

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The film’s climax summarizes the entire plot in 15 minutes, with Eric’s love shot by Loggia while proposing, and Tim using his son as a decoy. This is typical low-budget horror, targeting the TWILIGHT audience with R-rated effects. This film’s length felt like an eternity — unlike director Abel Ferrara’s previous works like MS. 45 and BAD LIEUTENANT. I can forgive Lundgren for one bad film since most of his DTV efforts are pretty entertaining; CREATURE (2010) has a good cast, but all it really is is a guy in a rubber monster suit killing six twenty-somethings out (two brother and sisters and an interracial couple) for a good time in New Orleans. The mystery: who’s poisoning the water with fire beetle venom — causing humans to catch fire? When Louise’s cat dies (Victor suspects Spencer), but the killer’s identity is clear within the film’s first ten minutes.

Unfortunately, the film is a standard, “hunt and kill” jungle horror film, as the title characters , actually apes, not monkeys, hunt and bloodily kill six American grad students and their professor (F. Murray Abraham, in a new career low) in the jungles of Africa (actually filmed in Thailand). The film takes forever to get moving (nearly all the characters are unlikable), the gore doesn’t flow until the final 30 minutes (where we witness the bear hit a boob-jobbed princess so hard her torso hits a tree and her silicon implants fall out!) and the only “good” girl turns out to be the villain. After 90 minutes of being chased around the dark catacombs (everything is very hard to see) — it is revealed that it was all a prank initiated by her sister.

When the killer’s payer , Jake Busey, shows up at the diner with a briefcase full of money and mistakens Madsen as the hired killer, that’s when the gory fun starts. Watch at your own risk (but I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen; I really should hate BUNRAKU (2010) because it is cheesy), a little too philosophical and runs a little overlong at 124 minutes, but I’ll be damned that every time I flip through my pay cable channels and this film is showing, I have to stop and watch it till the end. It’s DNA has more than a gene or two of RACE WITH THE DEVIL (1975) in it (but it is good), gruesome entertainment nonetheless; UNTHINKABLE (2010) is an apt name for a terrific thriller. Rather than relying on gore and blood (this film relies on atmosphere (it takes 17 minutes for the first words to be spoken!) and a sense of dread so thick), it would take a large knife to cut through it. That’s a shame (because even though this story borrows ideas from many genres (especially the LONE WOLF AND CUB series of films), the two first films which were condensed to make the excellent SHOGUN ASSASSIN ), it still manages to entertain and is extremely violent (even though if there’s a little bit too much CGI enhancement).